Cabin Fever 2

Cabin Fever 2

1.5 Stars out of 5

1) Production- Awww  maaaa gerd!!!  Awful!  Lighting, sound, it feels like everything about this movie was cheap.

2) Story Line -  If I tell you about the story line you might be like I was, oh, ok, I was wondering how it was going to pick up after the first one, that makes some sense.  But when you watch what they did.... enter eye roll here!!

3) Actors- They had some actors you would recognize from other shows, but I am not sure how happy they were with the end result.

4) Effects-  The effects were not great, there was a lot of blood and deaths and puss, which got the message across, but it still had a cheap rushed feel to it.

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Puss, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma

*NOTE- a WTF in the story line means there was something or someone that made me say WTF on a large enough scale that it distracted or interrupted the story line.

There are not many movies I say are a waste of time.  I can usually find some redeeming quality in any story.  Instead of saying this movie was a waste, let me say that if you are going to watch a movie, pick something else.

If you want to make a drinking game out of it, it might make it better.

If you want to add it to your collection, here is a link



Spoiler**

*The penis trauma is at 55:30, and in my opinion of the 11 on my list it is number 2.  The movie was hard enough to suffer through, adding this puss icing to the cake sent it higher on my list.

Rawhead Rex

Rawhead Rex

2.5 out of 5 stars.

1) Production- Fine, in my mind for the time. easy to watch, not shaky, lighting and locals ok, nothing to distract from the story.

2) Story Line -  This story starts out in my favorite way, with action and death.  Then it does a good job keeping me interested by having the monster pop up and kill people every couple minutes it seems.  The body count seems high for an 80's flick.  I had my finger on the fast forward button, but never had a chance to use it.

3) Actors- The actors were ok.  I like to think the bad guy had fun running around in makeup and costume.

4) Effects-  The effects were a little chessy, but that was the era.

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma

*NOTE- a WTF in the story line means there was something or someone that made me say WTF on a large enough scale that it distracted or interrupted the story line.

Why only 2.5?  It's old, and the story although interesting is not ground breaking or trend setting.

I heard that Clive Barker wasn't a fan of this film, to be honest I have suffered through way worse.  In my opinion if someone really wanted to this would be an easy remake with a much darker retelling.

In my mind like "Leprechaun"

Wolf Creek 2

Wolf Creek 2

3.5 out of 5 stars.  In my opinion this movie was way more exciting to watch than the first.

1) Production- Good, easy to watch, not shaky, good lighting and locals, nothing to distract from the story.

2) Story Line -  This story starts out in my favorite way, with action and death.  Then it does a good job not only keeping me interested, but it also keeps me guessing for a little while.

3) Actors- The actors were good and did not distract from the story.  I really enjoy the bad guy in these movies,

4) Effects-  The effects were not only good, but there was way more blood and gore than last time.

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma

*NOTE- a WTF in the story line means there was something or someone that made me say WTF on a large enough scale that it distracted or interrupted the story line.

Next week we will be watching Hostel, followed by Hostel 2 the week after.
(Unless we take a break for Easter)

If you would like to add it to your collection here is a link to Amazon.

Spoilers
*
*
*
The penis trauma is at 32:00

Out of the 15 movies on my list this one is in second last place.  In my opinion because the trauma happens to a dead person it is the least traumatic,  In my mind if you have to perform the trauma on yourself that is the worst, having it done to you is a very close second, but being dead means you don't anticipate it, feel it, or fear it.  

Honorable Mentions

Hello PTMR fans.

This is the Honorable Mentions List, these flicks have implied, non visual penis trauma.
Due to the less visual content I do not feel I need to give you a warning as to what time it happens.

Dead Snow

Dead Snow 2

Hostel 3

Hard Candy

Wolf Creek

Mar 15  Wolf Creek.

2 stars out of 5.   Not really worth the watch in my opinion,  I would say have the fast forward button ready.

1) Production- Good, easy to watch, not shaky, good lighting and locals, nothing to distract from the story.

2) Story Line -  WTF!*  Spoilers below.  If you like a slow movie that takes too long to not get you interested in the main characters this flick is for you.

3) Actors- The actors were good and did not distract from the story.

4) Effects-  The effects were well within reason and expectation for the budget and time.

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma

*NOTE- a WTF in the story line means there was something or someone that made me say WTF on a large enough scale that it distracted or interrupted the story line.

If you would like to add it to your collection here is a link to Amazon.








Spoilers-
*
*
*

This movie is so slow to start!!  After 50 minutes of no boobs, or kills I was ready to start hacking up the main trio just to add something to the dam show!!

Based on actually events... google it and compare the true story to the movie.... not so much.

Once the action starts it's over too soon and lacks real commitment.

Why only 2 stars? It took to long to tel the tale in my mind.  Production and acting were strong enough, and in fact I think my favorite part was the bad guy.

Wolfcop

Until I get this blog caught up with at least the movies from the PTMR15 app you will have to excuse my bouncing around and topic hopping.

Let us start with WolfCop 2006. 3.5 out of 5 stars.  Totally worth watching.

The review in the PTMR will tell you when the trauma is, but not much more.

If you want synopses and spoilers you have come to the wrong review page.  You can get all that many times over by going to IMDB or listening to any one of the movie reviewers talk your ear off on youtube.  I am a busy guy, I am guessing you are busy too.  So here are the points.

1) Production- Good, easy to watch, not shaky, good lighting and locals, nothing to distract from the story.

2) Story Line - Sure it had it's own little twist, but it was well within the realm the story laid out.  Easy to follow and no major WTF!*

3) Actors- The actors were good and did not distract from the story.

4) Effects-  The effects were well within reason and expectation for the budget and time.

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma  

Some might say why only 3.5 stars?  Truth is even though it is a fun film, it is not earth shattering, genera changing, trend setting or anything that would put it above any other playful werewolf flicks.
This movie has a playful cult classic feel to it, still to new to be proven.  The actors and production were good, it made watching the show easy, and allowed me to sit back and enjoy the story.   The story was not only entertaining and fun; it even includes a twist.    I recommend watching it and enjoying it for the fun, playful movie it is.

*NOTE- a WTF in the story line means there was something or someone that made me say WTF on a large enough scale that it distracted or interrupted the story line.

If you would like to add it to your collection here is a link to Amazon.

http://www.amazon.ca/Wolfcop-BD-Blu-ray-Leo-Fafard/dp/B00S9T2DHC/ref=pd_cp_d_0



Spoilers**

The penis trauma is at 22:30.

  Out of the 11 movies on my list at this time this ranks in at number 8.  When the trauma occurs there is a lot of other things going on with the character, and because of this, in my mind, it is not the most traumatizing thing.

Hello

Hello everyone.

This is the first Halberge Chain blog post.  Those of you who already know us, know we are always busy.  Those of you who aren't familiar with us might be here because of the blog link in one of our apps.

Halberge recently started making apps, and the first one we put out was the penis trauma movie review.  I love scary movies, Lisa doesn't thou, so I watch at least one scary movie a week with some co workers over our lunch break.  As we have watched the flicks I have noticed more and more penis trauma, and not just the usual kick to the groin, or knife in the air then "cut away" scene.  I mean the new trend of showing a traumatized penis on the screen.  This for me is new, and quite often I hear people say "I didn't need to see that" or "Holy crap! Was that what I thought it was?  Rewind it!"  So for all of you out there watching movies, no matter which camp you are in, the penis trauma movie review will help you either find the trauma, or know when you should cover your eyes and look away.

Either way I hope you enjoy, thanks for stopping by, don't forget to post, share comment or email suggestions to us.

I have my own movie review check list, and I will share with you my opinions for each movie.

1) Production- Light, locations, sound.  How were these?  Did they support the movie, or detract from it?

2) Story Line - Was the story enjoyable, did it make sense and follow it's own guidelines?  If not it gets a  WTF!, which means a flaw in the story, from where I was sitting.

3) Actors- Were the actors good, or good enough? Or did their butchering of lines and reactions distract from the story being told?

4) Effects-  Were the effects within reason and expectation for the budget and time.  Or was it a laugh fest that you would expect from a high school play?

5) Adult Stuff- Cheesy One Liners, Bad Language, Booze, Drugs, Blood, Bondage, Guts, Gore, Puss, Hoochie Girls, Boobs, Sex, Vagina, Penis, Penis Trauma

This is the adult check list in my mind.  Most of these I grew up with and expect to see in any movie I sit down and give my time to.  Miss some and I can forgive, but miss too much, and what was the point?

Movies mentioned in the PTMR are those with actual visual trauma.  I will be adding an honorable mention for the movies I feel did a good job without the visual over share, but am not likely to mention run of the mill kick or punch to the balls.

Thanks for stopping by and spending time with us.
Garry

In case you don't have the app, or you deleted it, it is available on google play.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mobincube.android.sc_GAY5X